WIN.

While I was on a date the other night, the guy's food came out before mine did. He said he didn't want to start eating before my food came out because he was worried I would blog about what an asshole he was.

That's pretty much the best thing that's happened on any date I've ever been on.

FAIL.

I was once in the end stages of sort of dating a guy (i.e. only sporadically answering calls and texts/not being able to hang out due to being "really busy"), when I got a text from him that read:

"It was nice meeting you last night. It's really cool that you're in school, and not drunk all the time like the rest of Austin."

At this point in time, I wasn't in school/was working a part-time job/was drunk all the time. Clearly, this text was not meant for me, unless it was some super evil and well crafted insult.

I indignantly texted back:

"What's wrong with being drunk all the time?!"

Oh Hai

I just realized that this blog has gotten over ten thousand hits, and that's absolutely nuts. Thanks so much for reading!

xo ashton

Top 5: Childhood Crushes

I was rewatching High Fidelity today, and it made me want to make a top five list. It also reminded me of the huge boner I had for Say Anything era John Cusak when I was a kid. Thus, top five childhood crushes:

1. John Cusak

I don't really remember anything about this movie, since I haven't seen it since I was a kid, other than it made me desperately want to marry Lloyd Dobler.

2. Big Pete

Little Pete was cute and my age, but there was just something about his constantly pining and whining older brother that I found much more endearing.

3. Atreyu

I feel like a total creep looking at this picture and writing this at my age now, but I just remember being wildly fascinated by Atreyu's perpetually open shirt as a child.

4. Desi Arnaz

To this day, my ideal boyfriend would be a hot Cuban with a pompadour because of this man and Nick at Nite. Can we please lift the embargo and import some of these??

5. Donatello

He was a cartoon. He was a mutant. He was a turtle. He was a cartoon mutant turtle, and I wanted him to be my boyfriend from ages 5 to 6.

Images no. 7

photo by Harry Benson

FEELINGS

The other day, I was lamenting on my super-secret-not-for-the-public-blog over how boring my life has gotten since my decision to "be nice". Being nice includes things like telling people from the beginning that I'm not boyfriendable, and that they shouldn't get their hopes up (which they always ignore), then dealing with the fact that they never fucking listen as nicely as possible.

My friend Alaina left this comment:

"Maybe you're not mean, and everyone else is just an idiot.

You can't help that, girl. "

You're completely right. Putting up with stupid little boys who wear their hearts on their sleeves and refuse to listen to reason was a ridiculous waste of time and energy. I'm not into "being nice" anymore.

Yeah

You know when you sleep with a really hot person, and you get to go "Yeah, I hit it."?
You know when that person isn't as cute a few years later, and it's more of a "Yeah, I used to hang out with that guy a long time ago."?

Can someone think of a clever name for that? All I've got so far is "Ashton's an asshole."